Feeling a little burnt out

Every once an awhile, I just want to be a normal pregnant woman and stuff my face with donuts and a side of pickles. Or indulge in a piece of birthday cake or snack at a party without counting my carbs.  Truth is, even when I want to be rebellious, there's not much I can do that won't tempt the docs to put me back on meds, and that's something I definitely want to avoid for as long as I can.

I recently did a four day stint on Glyburide to bring my morning sugars down.  The problem was that even though it got my 1 hour post breakfast numbers to be super great, it stayed in my system for an hour after that.  The Glyburide exponentially morphed my body's ability to use physical activity to get sugar into my cells.  So unless I sat on the couch like a bump on a log for two hours, I inevitably experienced rediculous lows.  And those lows, are NOT fun!  Although I got to drink juice and have some M&M's for a few days until I got the call to stop taking the meds.  Now I'm cutting carbs in the morning and exercising which is helping me keep my numbers in check.

The difficult truth to swallow is that all I have to do right now at least is stay active - moving - all day long.  If I train myself not to sit on the couch or in a comfy chair but to keep busy all day by cleaning and walking and playing with my toddler, I can have a whole day of great blood sugar readings.  While it's encouraging when it works, I struggle against the picture in my mind of the pregnant lady with feet up on the coffee table, a big bowl of ice cream in her lap - spoon in one hand, remote in the other.  But in my mental picture, she's also real fat, so that helps!  I don't wanna be a fat slob, I want to be an active, present mom in control of her diabetes as much as possible. 

So I sneak in little cheats when I can.  Yes, I admit it.  I don't have to report my blood sugars after snacks, so as long as I keep to my carb limits and stay active after I eat, I can afford to cheat in little bitty ways.  I was going to eat a nice shrimp salad with three of my 5 carb multigrain crackers and a small piece of fruit for snack this morning.  Instead, I ate a 21 carb jello pudding cup and drank a small glass of milk.  Yes, I'm all into eating natural foods and yes I hate anything in a package but you know what?  I'M PREGNANT!  It's not a box of donuts (whoowee, my sugars would soar past 300 I'm sure!) and I certainly don't do it every day or every week for that matter.  And right after I finish this post I'm off to clean the kitchen to get my sugars low enough before lunch.  So there's my confession, my little indulgence to respond to my whine-fest for not being like "every other pregnant lady out there" stuffing their faces with McDonalds or whatever they are craving at the moment.  Or at least that's what I imagine them ALL doing while they snicker at me through their car windows leaving drive-thrus.

In the meantime, I've started a new idea to create a salad bar in my fridge.  I bought a ton of tupperware (I've been wanting to throw out all the old mismatched and lost lidded ones anyway) and diced, chopped, prepped, and stuffed them with all the salad stuff I could think of.  I love salads, especially when I can put a bunch of stuff on them.  And it helps my hubby eat healthy too. 

So I think if I'm eating all this healthy stuff I can be forgiven the very occasional pudding cup especially if it helps me past the burn-out lulls. =)